Everyone has flaws, especially the iPhone 6
I'VE started a new relationship that I think is going to be important. It's with my iPhone 6+ and, I have to confess, it's got off to a rocky start.
Clearly I should have found out a little bit more about the new phone in my life before I agreed to eat, sleep and live with it and tell it all my secrets. But, like all new romances, I went into it a bit starstruck and wide-eyed.
It might have been its flashy appearance and wealth of apps. Take me home, baby, it seemed to say, and I'll make your life fun. Never again will you miss a call, a text or a funny dog video with my big, wide screen and my friendly useability. I've always liked something with a bit of overt visual appeal.
Sadly, we've had a couple of early tiffs - last week it refused to recognise my fingerprint - kind of akin to a new boyfriend not taking your call, and, this week, it kept freezing message bank. In other words, we weren't talking, but I wasn't sure what I had done.
My friends who have an iPhone 6+ tell me it's the worst phone they ever had but, to me, that sounds like giving up on the relationship before it starts.
Let's face it: there's easy and there's hard and some relationships are just tougher than others.
Forget iPhones. Let's get serious about partners. Sure, we all want handsome, rich, kind, sporty, smart, sexy, considerate, house-trained, fun, adventurous and more. But this is a person we're talking about - not an RSVP ad.
And, just like iPhones, they usually come with a couple of manufacturing flaws and an app or two that, periodically, seems to malfunction.
The trick, of course, is to decide what your can't-live-without qualities are. For me, kind is better than rich, but mean is a zero-negotiation.
For others, house-trained may be the only major quality needed, while for some it's all about fun and, when the going gets rocky, they're out of there.
I think that's why they build in that phrase, "til death us do part" if you decide to sign on the dotted line - much like taking a 24-month phone contract. Well, a bit more serious, but given the amount you'll pay for a comprehensive phone plan, probably about the same cost.
Whether it's a phone or a partner, some people are smart enough to always go for the simplest model - fewer problems learning how to operate it.
Others, like me, are tempted by all the bells and whistles. In the short-term, the complex model will undoubtedly prove more tiring. In the long-term, you hope it pays off in increased functionality.
I'm not sure whether my phone and I will get along yet, but fortunately, I took the insurance. If I decide, in the next 12 months, that I want another model, I just have to pay a small fee and, voila, a new, sexier model will arrive in the post.
Sadly no one has yet come up with such a policy to cover new partners, which is why separation and divorce can be so financially as well as emotionally messy. You're either stuck with something that didn't live up to the advertising, or you're up for a serious amount of cash and heartbreak.
Don't let it put you off love, or telecommunications, though. Life is all about risks, and whether it's phones or partners, to quote the late Bob Marley, you just got to find the ones worth suffering for.